Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I'm really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.
Keep the dream alive, hit the snooze button.
Fact: Sharks can only attack if you're wet.
I would call my fashion style "clothes that still fit."
If Watson isn't the most famous Doctor, then Who is.
I used to work at Twitter, but now I'm an X-employee.
A bike in town keeps running me down. It seems to be a vicious cycle.
The first million people to send me $1 will get a copy of my guide on how to become a Millionaire using Facebook. Act now!
To the person that stole my anti-depressants, I hope you're happy now.
I was going to tell you a joke about butter, but I'm afraid you might spread it around.