Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Me and my recliner go way back.
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Sometimes I pretend to be average, but it gets boring. So I go back to being AWESOME!
I'm confused about why landlines have a hashtag. Did Grandma do some Tweeting back in her day?
My wife left me because I'm insecure. No wait she's back. She just went to get coffee.
I have all the back issues of the Chiropractic journal.
Me: It's not how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up.
Cop: That's not how field sobriety tests work.
It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar. It's a 30 minute walk back. The difference is staggering!
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