Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Everyone has the right to be dumb. Some people abuse that privilege.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

I always second guess myself at a checkout line when the cashier asks "did you find everything?". Why are you hiding stuff?

"I can't wait until I'm grown" was the dumbest shit I have ever said.

I'm really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.

People are like Oreos. The good stuff is on the inside.