Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

My pipe dream was to become a plumber. Unfortunately, that went down the drain.

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, "That one is shaped like an idiot"?

My boss said "You are late to work for the third time this week. Do you know what that means?" "It's Wednesday?", I replied.

My friend's Bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet?
l asked my 12 brothers and sisters, but they don't know either.

A hundred baby sheep were rolling down a hill. It was a lambslide.