Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.

Great news for insomniacs now that Halloween is over. Only 5 more sleeps till Christmas

Albert Einstein is a great scientist, a good man. But his brother Frank, is a monster.

I am not always punny and sarcastic. I do sleep sometimes.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

I speak fluent ironic with a solid sarcastic accent.