Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

The best part of coming to work is going home at the end of the day.

In a world full of bagels, you're a doughnut.

Remember -- it may be illegal to text and drive... but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50 km/h.

I always make full eye contact when placing the stick that separates our groceries.

Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...

I'm now at the age where if I see a nice nursing home, I make a mental note of it.