Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

A large group of Karens is called a Homeowners Association.

I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah, I know you have more money than me — no need to rub it in.

I hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only #1, 3, 5, 7 & 9 were done. Turns out he only does odd jobs.

After 20 minutes of being ignored, it's amazing how fast Home Depot employees show up when you try to start a chainsaw.

After 100 years on the bottom of the ocean, divers were amazed to find the Titanic's pool was still full.

A joke does not become a dad joke until it is full groan.