Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I always second guess myself at a checkout line when the cashier asks "did you find everything?". Why are you hiding stuff?

Grocery store self-checkout is just an unpaid internship.

Facebook relationship status options should include 'it's complicated and I don't want to talk about it.'

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I'm a valued customer at several grocery stores.

Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.