Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

If a drummer comes out of retirement will there be repercussions?

Great news for insomniacs now that Halloween is over. Only 5 more sleeps till Christmas

Did you hear about the auto body shop that just opened? It comes highly wreck-a-mended.

Albert Einstein is a great scientist, a good man. But his brother Frank, is a monster.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

Life's greatest tragedy is that we grow old too soon, and wise too late.