Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.

Take your nose back; I found it in my business.

To be successful in life, have these: backbone, wishbone, and a funny bone.

My goal in life is to have a Wikipedia page written about me. Maybe just a newspaper article. Ok, I'd accept a journal entry.

Me and my recliner go way back.

Sometimes I pretend to be average, but it gets boring. So I go back to being AWESOME!