Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Marry someone who can cook. Love fades, hunger doesn't.

Remember -- it may be illegal to text and drive... but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50 km/h.

Why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?!

Did you hear about the auto body shop that just opened? It comes highly wreck-a-mended.

Afraid of not getting what you ordered with online shopping? Try online dating!

I saw an elderly man at the supermarket collecting shopping carts. He must have been pushing 70.