Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I was in the middle of the corn maze and it felt like I was being stalked.
LIFEHACK: be born very wealthy
My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.
I found out my neighbor breeds deer for racing. He's always trying to make a quick buck.
REMINDER: September is Procrastination Awareness Month!
I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.
I’m cle’a[ni.ng m'y' ke]yb36oa;rd.
Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
When I went out to my car this morning, it was all covered in leaves, so I guess now it's an autumnobile.
What I like about chiropractors is they always have your back.