Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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You look like something I drew with my left hand.
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Sassy, classy, and a bit bad-assy.
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Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny.
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I may be wrong, but I highly doubt it.
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Cancel my subscription to your issues.
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I'm not short, I'm built for speed and comfort.
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Nap time sounds like a juvenile thing, but as an adult, it sounds like a high-end luxury prize.
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One day I am going to make the onions cry.
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All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
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My IQ test results came back, and they were negative.
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