Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Grrr! Autocorrect is really starting to irrigate me!
All theses years I thought it was the dryer making my shirts not fit. Now I'm pretty sure it's the refrigerator.
I get carried away sometimes... usually because I refuse to leave.
Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs?
I accidentally downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar app on my phone. Now my battery keeps draining.
I like puns about immortality. They never get old.
What's a thief's favorite kind of metal? Steel.
I bought a bottle of shampoo which promised to increase volume. I poured some in my ear and if anything, it did the opposite.
My friend escaped jail by wrapping his face with a whole roll of paper towels. Now there's a Bounty on his head.
He who laughs last... didn't get it.