Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Apparently, people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."
"I ran a half marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon."
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
I don't need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning.
Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn't stop coloring till 2 o'clock this morning.
I never thought I'd be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning… I was right!
The pollen is so thick. I coughed up two daffodils and a pine cone this morning.
The best way to change a woman's mind is to agree with her.
The easiest way to double your money is to fold it over.