Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
A space heater seems like the perfect housewarming gift.
I once entered a weather pun competition. I beat the raining champion.
I wish Noah had swatted those two mosquitoes.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Going to a music lovers meeting but can't remember if it's on... Penny Lane, Electric Avenue or down on Main Street.
Why did the jalapeño put on a tiny jacket? It was a little chili.
I always second guess myself at a checkout line when the cashier asks "did you find everything?". Why are you hiding stuff?
One of the most expensive things you'll ever do is pay attention to the wrong person.
It's shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
Advice needs a good listener.