Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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I finally realized people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a cell phone.
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The road to success is always under construction.
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The only running I do is running out of patience.
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My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
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If life gives you lemons, at least you won't get scurvy.
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The bags under my eyes are designer.
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Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
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Don't let your printer know you are in a hurry. They smell fear.
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There should be a calorie refund for food that did not taste as good as you expected.
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Just because you are offended, does not mean you are right.
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