Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
When I went out to my car this morning, it was all covered in leaves, so I guess now it's an autumnobile.
What I like about chiropractors is they always have your back.
I snacked on Sodium Chloride and Acetic Acid chips last night.
Trust me, they tasted much better than it sounds.
I am not always a smart-ass. Sometimes I'm asleep.
Midwives help people out.
When you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
Synonym: Word used in place of the one you can't spell.
To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that
"I don't care about being healthy and smelling clean."