Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I missed my appointment with the chiropractor about a week back.
Never give up on your dreams! Keep sleeping.
The inventor of the Ferris wheel never met the inventor of the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles
I'm mature, but not mature-mature. For example I still use "righty tighty, lefty loosey" to figure shit out.
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
I called the tinnitus hotline, but it just kept ringing.
Autocorrect can go straight to he'll.
Why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?!
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.