Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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Telling yourself 'I'll remember that' instead of writing it down. You won't remember that.
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My work routine: Coffee, existential crisis, lunch, existential crisis, home.
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I'm one bad meeting away from becoming a park ranger.
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I'm not quiet quitting. I'm loud staying and silently screaming.
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I schedule meetings to recover from my meetings.
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That one friend who says 'we should hang out more' but never initiates plans.
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Today's work mood: Loading...
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I don't have imposter syndrome. I have 'I'm genuinely unqualified' syndrome.
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I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday.
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The audacity of laundry to exist every single week without fail.
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