Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
Dove chocolates taste way better than their soap.
Me: I finally got 8 hours of sleep.
Neck: Yeah, but you did it wrong.
Tripped over nothing...again. Nailed it
Wi-Fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem nice.
Life's too short to be vanilla
It's almost October, which means all of the cobwebs and dust in my house will soon become Halloween decorations.
I hate it when I'm singing a song, and the artist gets the words wrong.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I'll forget the brownies in the oven.