Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Always late but worth the wait.
Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
I'm on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 9 days.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
If you're not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
Quantum physics: The study of how I can simultaneously be late and still get there on time.
The difference between me and Superman is - He has super vision. I require supervision.
I like putting my music on shuffle but then I get annoyed when it doesn't play the songs I want.
I wanted to give my Uber driver advice instead of cash,
but that wouldn't be fare.
Using the wrong tool during surgery can be heart wrenching.