Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
To the person that stole my anti-depressants, I hope you're happy now.
I was going to tell you a joke about butter, but I'm afraid you might spread it around.
Life is like a camera—focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, just take another shot!
Always late but worth the wait.
Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
I'm on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 9 days.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
If you're not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
Quantum physics: The study of how I can simultaneously be late and still get there on time.
The difference between me and Superman is - He has super vision. I require supervision.