Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I wish Noah had swatted those two mosquitoes.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Going to a music lovers meeting but can't remember if it's on... Penny Lane, Electric Avenue or down on Main Street.
Why did the jalapeño put on a tiny jacket? It was a little chili.
I always second guess myself at a checkout line when the cashier asks "did you find everything?". Why are you hiding stuff?
One of the most expensive things you'll ever do is pay attention to the wrong person.
It's shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
Advice needs a good listener.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
Kidnapping? I prefer the term "surprise adoption."