Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I'm not short, I'm built for speed and comfort.
Nap time sounds like a juvenile thing, but as an adult, it sounds like a high-end luxury prize.
One day I am going to make the onions cry.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
My IQ test results came back, and they were negative.
Common sense is like deodorant; the people who need it most never use it.
I changed my bathroom's name to "The Jim" so I can tell everyone I go to the gym every morning.
I get kids confused when I say I am older than the Internet.
To err is human. To arr is pirate.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them. I can also tell if they are standing.