Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Good morning people of my country. Tell me, what are we offended by today?
A large group of Karens is called a Homeowners Association.
Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.
What the heck is planking? It's the parkour of people who can't move fast.
I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is much more fun.
Apparently, people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."
"I ran a half marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon."
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
I don't need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning.