Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Sort By: Most Popular Newest Random
I don't have a drinking problem. I'm just really thirsty.
šŸ”ŽView
Best friends don't let you do stupid things...alone.
šŸ”ŽView
I don't know Karate, but I know CRAZY and I’m not afraid to use it.
šŸ”ŽView
It isn't that I'm not a people person. I'm just not a stupid people person.
šŸ”ŽView
Adults are just kids with money.
šŸ”ŽView
The first step of forgiveness is understanding some people are just stupid.
šŸ”ŽView
You are the result of 5 billion years of successful evolution. Now act like it.
šŸ”ŽView
When my internet is down I forget that the rest of my computer still works.
šŸ”ŽView
Don't expect an intelligent answer when you ask a stupid question.
šŸ”ŽView
I'm at the age where happy hour is my nap time.
šŸ”ŽView