Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
'You're still a rock star' I whisper to myself as I take 2 Advil and crawl into bed at 9:45
The best part of coming to work is going home at the end of the day.
I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me.
9 out of 10 voices in my head say I'm crazy. The 10th is humming.
Expecting the unexpected makes the unexpected expected.
Everyone has the right to be dumb. Some people abuse that privilege.
In a world full of bagels, you're a doughnut.
I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.