Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I was pulled over this morning, and the cop asked if I had a police record. I said no, but I have a Sting CD.
UNO is the number one game in the world.
A recent announcement says half of all vehicles will be electric in ten years. My questions is "Which half? Front or Back?"
Did you know that there are more airplanes underwater than submarines in the sky?
Self checkout should include an employee discount.
I don't know if my pants are feeling loose because I'm losing weight or the elastic is finally giving up the fight.
Some guy just bursts into a real estate office yelling
"OKAY NOBODY MOVE!"
I have a plastic bag full of plastic bags at home.
People are like Oreos. The good stuff is on the inside.
How come Miss Universe is only ever won by people from Earth?