Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I'm not immature I just know how to have fun more than you do.
Today I found out that spring rolls are not just for eating in spring.
If it doesn't make sense I just smile and nod.
Looking for me? I'm with stupid. Doing what stupid does.
How good would it be if a liar's pants really did catch on fire!
I'm confused about why landlines have a hashtag. Did Grandma do some Tweeting back in her day?
My wife told me to choose between her and my cigar collection. I'm really going to miss her.
I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet.
I am not weird. I am just a limited-edition model.
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?