Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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Sure, I drank brake fluid. But I can stop anytime!
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Sausage puns are the wurst.
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I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
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2,000 mockingbirds is 2 kilomockingbirds.
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Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least
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Good morning people of my country. Tell me, what are we offended by today?
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A large group of Karens is called a Homeowners Association.
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Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.
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What the heck is planking? It's the parkour of people who can't move fast.
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I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is much more fun.
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