Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Sort By: Most Popular Newest Random
When my internet is down I forget that the rest of my computer still works.
🔎View
Don't expect an intelligent answer when you ask a stupid question.
🔎View
I'm at the age where happy hour is my nap time.
🔎View
Exercise. A poor man's plastic surgery.
🔎View
Maybe the day doesn't like being seized.
🔎View
Sometimes I pretend to be average, but it gets boring. So I go back to being AWESOME!
🔎View
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
🔎View
I used to wonder what it would be like to read other people's minds. Then I got Facebook.
🔎View
I don't need a therapist. I just need a friend to be silly with.
🔎View
Sometimes I listen to strangers conversations and mentally give my opinion.
🔎View