Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I dance like a car dealership's inflatable tube man.
A quick shoutout to all the sidewalks out there. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
That awkward moment when a Zombie is looking for brains and it walks right past you...
If my psychiatrist said "There's really nothing more I can do for you", that means I'm cured right?
Remember -- it may be illegal to text and drive... but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50 km/h.
I don't understand why I can't lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
Laughter is the best medicine... unless you have broken ribs.
Warning: If you don't pay your exorcist, you will get repossessed.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.