Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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Exercise. A poor man's plastic surgery.
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Maybe the day doesn't like being seized.
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Sometimes I pretend to be average, but it gets boring. So I go back to being AWESOME!
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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
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I used to wonder what it would be like to read other people's minds. Then I got Facebook.
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I don't need a therapist. I just need a friend to be silly with.
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Sometimes I listen to strangers conversations and mentally give my opinion.
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Why do they call these a pair of pant's when they are not a pair?
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Why do they call it after dark when it's really after light?
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If I share it I don't have it. So I keep my secret.
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