Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I'm the reason they have to mute voice chat in multiplayer.

Lazy is such an ugly word.
I prefer selective participation.

No one goes before their time,
unless the boss leaves early.

We never really mature as we age.
We only learn how to act in public.

I need a six month vacation, twice a year.

I call todays hairstyle 'I tried'

Think like a proton. Always positive.

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.

It's the inside that matters.
Like my fridge.

I think I'm approaching my
"best if used by" date