Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
The fact that we call them "Earth worms" implies that there's another planet inhabited by a different type of worm…
If you can't stop thinking about someone's update, that's called 'status cling.'
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
I hate mosquitoes, I mean I know I’m delicious but damn.
My internet went down. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password.
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch.
If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
People who don't understand sarcasm are awesome.
I feel like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
I think it's about time Taylor Swift
wrote a song called
"Maybe I'm the Problem"